Friday, 11 June 2010

5-11 June

This is likely to be a very short and slightly dull entry, as this week was mainly made up of sitting in my flat desperately trying not to go out and spend money. I'm desperately low on cash right now, and since work isn't giving out shifts over summer, I currently have no income. Also, being something of an idiot, I don't know how to be in London without spending money, so I isolated myself with books and the internet to make sure I spent as little as possible (£15 in 3 days is incredibly good for me). It was actually quite relaxing, staying in bed until the middle of the afternoon to ensure I didn't get so bored I chewed my own fingers off in frustration.

Unfortunately, and somewhat inevitably, I almost did anyway...

But the last few days of the week perked up, with a slightly weird but quite fun gig in Covent Garden on Wednesday, which I feel I performed well at even though I completely lost my thread part way through the set. Turns out I did all the material I had planned to, it just didn't last as long as it did. I'm still working on my new material at the moment, and it doesn't quite hang together too well, but I'm working on the links and the general presentation.

Things brightened up further with a really good fun gig in Piccadilly at the inaugural We Love Open Mic Comedy, a night which I really recommend. It's run by Renata Muss and Sean Brightman, two of the nicest people I've encountered on the circuit, and the crowd was really warm and responsive. It helped that there were a few familiar faces on the bill, so I got to chat with a great bunch of comics during the intervals and after the show.

It's surprising that I'm currently able to write such positive stuff about people, seeing as it's a bit later than I usually write the blog, and I'm quite tired.

Apologies for the boring nature of this entry, that will happen when you do nothing and then try to be interesting about it.

Friday, 4 June 2010

May 29-June 4

I was back in Reading to visit my parents this weekend, and going back there after living in London for a while always brings home just how strange the place is. While there are pubs everywhere in the capital, there doesn't seem to be quite the same density of alcoholics there are in Reading. Maybe it's just because of the smaller population size, or the fact that there is very little else to do in Reading other than drink until your liver curls up and dies. But it was nice to head back and have a relaxing weekend with the family. We watched a truly bizarre film called The Box (the film, not the Rugrats episode, Wikipedia fans), directed by Richard Kelly. It started off as a sort of Hitchcockian thriller, a couple faced with an ethical dilemma, but rapidly escalated into a strange mishmash of conspiracy drama and science fiction with religious undertones. A baffling but relatively enjoyable film with an unashamed 2001: A Space Odyssey special effects rip-off sequence in the middle.

In case you hadn't guessed, I'm a big fan of films.

I had an enjoyable gig at Monkey Business Comedy Club in Camden on Tuesday, with a friendly audience and a fun group of acts on. However, what seemed like my funniest moment on stage took place not in my own set, but with a comedy magic act named Alan Hudson, which ended in me standing on stage with a bunch of balloons and a bright pink paper bag over my head (I won't go into any more details for fear of spoiling Alan's act, he is a good performer with a fun set and I recommend you see him sometime). Luckily it gave me a chance for a quick line at the start of my set which I hope helped the crowd warm to me a little. My current five minutes isn't quite as tight as my previous one, but it's more fun to perform. This might be because I'm not as bored of it as I was with the last one, but it feels looser and more open for improvisation, which is exactly what I've been looking for.

Oh balls, funny stuff, hang on...

I went out with a few friends on Wednesday night, and as is happening with increasing frequency it completely wiped me out all day Thursday. Whenever I drink a lot, it seems to make me unable to do anything of value the next day other than lying very still in the foetal position and feeling incredibly sorry for myself.

In my defence, this time I think it was more due to the fact that once we'd got back at around 3am, we did stay up watching a film until half 5, at which point I fell asleep until half 2 the following afternoon.

Ah, the joys of not having a proper job.

I spent Thursday night watching In The Loop, a hilarious and rightly award-winning film with some of the best swearing I've ever heard (Sorry, Ryan Reynolds in Blade Trinity, "cock-juggling thundercunt" doesn't quite cut it any more) delivered with extreme gusto by the wonderful Peter Capaldi, and a weird but oddly hilarious line by Tom Hollander involving the words "willy banjo". I won't go into any more detail, I highly recommend you watch it.

I've recommended a lot of things in this post in the hopes that someone will read this and pay attention to the recommendations of a man who spends his time sleeping, watching films, blogging and occasionally doing five-minute open spots at comedy clubs. Because I'm under the impression that you're all as boring as me.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

A New Hope

Every few months I decide to start a blog, and it inevitably goes down the toilet because I try to be too ambitious. In my first one, for example, I decided to write a new entry every day, but couldn't keep up with it, and it also bored me to death writing about things I'd done, and if it bores me that much then I can't imagine what kind of spirit-crushing boredom it would induce in other people.

However, I've started doing some new things which will hopefully be more interesting to write and read about, so I'm going to attempt to make a new post every Friday, with stuff I've done and a few random musings from that week which will keep people interested. A man can dream, can't he?

So first off, an introduction. I'm Phil Boothman, a 20-year-old amateur stand-up comedian based in and around London. So sorry, maths lovers, but the tangents that this blog title refers to aren't the geometrical ones, but the leaps of logic my brain tends to make, thanks to the combination of my short attention span and my overactive imagination. Yes, I'm one of those comedians, unable to concentrate long enough to construct a witty, pithy one-liner, more interested in monkeys than puns and who tends to get over-excited on-stage and reveal random personal information about myself like the fool I am (self-deprecation: please love me!).

As such, I don't tend to do a lot during the day, mostly sleeping and occasionally venturing out from my pit to scavenge for any food I can peel off the floor and microwave. However, I tend to have one or two gigs a week, so they will probably make up the meat of my posts, with anything else I do acting as the salad that comes with the meal which I don't eat because I'm afraid of green things.

Also, as my mind tends to wander, sometimes I will mention things at my gigs that I only ever talk about once (it's called spontaneous banter, people), and so I may post them here for posterity. Usually things archived for posterity are more important than a man I saw on the train, but things more important than that rarely if ever happen to me, so people I've seen on the train it shall be!

If you're noticing that this first post has been a little fragmented and doesn't follow a clear narrative structure (much like The Diary of Anne Frank, she may have been hard-up but she knew nothing of narrative) and have been annoyed by this, then we're probably not going to get on: I generally lack focus and the writing in this blog will jump all over the place, so get used to it!

Anyway, between a combination of blowing smoke up my own arse, making fun of myself and comparing myself to Anne Frank, I think that's probably about enough for the first post. I'll be back on Friday to assault your senses with my awesome powers of bullshit once again, but until then I have to go, some Nazis are knocking on my door and the sound of the keyboard is drawing attention to me...