A New Hope

Every few months I decide to start a blog, and it inevitably goes down the toilet because I try to be too ambitious. In my first one, for example, I decided to write a new entry every day, but couldn't keep up with it, and it also bored me to death writing about things I'd done, and if it bores me that much then I can't imagine what kind of spirit-crushing boredom it would induce in other people.

However, I've started doing some new things which will hopefully be more interesting to write and read about, so I'm going to attempt to make a new post every Friday, with stuff I've done and a few random musings from that week which will keep people interested. A man can dream, can't he?

So first off, an introduction. I'm Phil Boothman, a 20-year-old amateur stand-up comedian based in and around London. So sorry, maths lovers, but the tangents that this blog title refers to aren't the geometrical ones, but the leaps of logic my brain tends to make, thanks to the combination of my short attention span and my overactive imagination. Yes, I'm one of those comedians, unable to concentrate long enough to construct a witty, pithy one-liner, more interested in monkeys than puns and who tends to get over-excited on-stage and reveal random personal information about myself like the fool I am (self-deprecation: please love me!).

As such, I don't tend to do a lot during the day, mostly sleeping and occasionally venturing out from my pit to scavenge for any food I can peel off the floor and microwave. However, I tend to have one or two gigs a week, so they will probably make up the meat of my posts, with anything else I do acting as the salad that comes with the meal which I don't eat because I'm afraid of green things.

Also, as my mind tends to wander, sometimes I will mention things at my gigs that I only ever talk about once (it's called spontaneous banter, people), and so I may post them here for posterity. Usually things archived for posterity are more important than a man I saw on the train, but things more important than that rarely if ever happen to me, so people I've seen on the train it shall be!

If you're noticing that this first post has been a little fragmented and doesn't follow a clear narrative structure (much like The Diary of Anne Frank, she may have been hard-up but she knew nothing of narrative) and have been annoyed by this, then we're probably not going to get on: I generally lack focus and the writing in this blog will jump all over the place, so get used to it!

Anyway, between a combination of blowing smoke up my own arse, making fun of myself and comparing myself to Anne Frank, I think that's probably about enough for the first post. I'll be back on Friday to assault your senses with my awesome powers of bullshit once again, but until then I have to go, some Nazis are knocking on my door and the sound of the keyboard is drawing attention to me...